Assertiveness defends a need respectfully, without disappearing from the conversation or imposing on others.

Prepare four elements: observation, impact, need, and request. “The report arrived after the agreed deadline; that reduced support’s review time. We need a full day. Can you send a draft by Wednesday or tell us today if that is not possible?” The message addresses a dependency, not someone’s character.

To say no, acknowledge the request, state the boundary, and offer a real alternative when available: “I cannot review the whole document today without compromising support cover; I can review critical sections now.” Ask questions to understand the other person’s criterion.

• Blame disguised as an I-statement. Return to observable facts.
• Over-explaining. Give enough context and repeat the boundary calmly.
• Waiting to explode. Raise dependencies early.

1. Rewrite “You never reply and leave me with the whole problem.”
2. Decline a task you cannot take this week.

1. Describe two incidents, their impact, and request confirmed cover and escalation.
2. State current commitments and offer only an alternative you can meet.

Assertiveness makes boundaries and needs visible. Combined with listening, it enables feedback that genuinely helps improvement.